Forgotten Girl
I hold the key in my hand. It’s long and slender, silver with lines and diamonds fitting perfectly with the scar on my hand. It makes my skin tingle—makes my mind tingle... makes my whole body tingle with faint memories…
Pitter-patter…. Pitter-patter… Pitter-patter… the rain crashes aga...inst the earth… through it, there’s a spark. I’ve seen it before. Heard the voice that follows me, calls out my name, shouts at me to stop! As I look back, I see a combustion of flames, scorching toward the sky, so potent the rain can’t even drown it out.
Don’t be afraid…
“What does it mean?” I ask, running my finger across the jagged edge of the key. “And what does it go to?”
There’s no response from Lily, so I try something else, something I’ve been keeping inside me.
“Do you know what I did that night when I got hit by the car?” I ask. “Did you know why I was out in the mountains, running in the middle of the road?”
I know as much as you. You’re mind is my mind.
I feel my legs carrying me to the mirror on their own accord. “But I don’t know anything.” I study myself in the mirror, imaging myself as blond like the detective said, imagining myself as someone else.
You don’t know anything because you chose to forget. Everything you do, you chose to do.
She’s right. If I was a better person, then I’d simply go talk to someone—go to Preston and confess what’s going on—but I know I won’t. I’m not sure if that makes me a bad person, for carrying those thoughts inside me, not speaking about them because I worry what they mean. Maybe if I’d spoken up sooner, lives could have been spared. Maybe Sydney would still be alive.
“Maybe,” Lily says. “But maybe not.”
***
Too much pushing and I'll finally break down and tell him what's really taking up most of my brain space. That I want to try killing him, not just because he's wearing on my nerves today, but so I can finally discover who I really am inside. Lily or Maddie, Good or bad. IF he got angry and told me how crazy I was acting, I would simply blame it on Lily, the voice within me, agreeing me to do it.
